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Thursday, March 31, 2016

What Makes You Special?

Take a moment to consider the answer to this question: "What makes you special?" If you can't immediately rattle off a list, then I encourage you to spend some time thinking deeply about it. It isn't arrogant to be clear on the qualities you bring to the field and the world. In fact, it's very necessary.

The further you go in your soccer development, the more clear it will become to you what your personal strengths and weaknesses are. As a very introspective person and player, I think about this for myself a lot.

If you're anything like me, you often get caught up with your weaknesses. Coaches point them out, we get evaluations that tell us what we need to do to improve them; we constantly harp on them and mentally replay our mistakes from the last game. These are important pieces when it comes to improvement. We must be honest about our performance and ability in order to get better. But we (females in particular) are often very hard on ourselves--harder than we would ever be on a teammate. So there needs to be a balance.

As a professional player, soccer is my job and my only obligation during the day. This is awesome! But it also can be a mental and emotional nightmare if I were to always be harping on my imperfections and mistakes. As a professional player, I've learned to balance attending to areas of weakness and harnessing my strengths. We all enjoy thinking about, working on, and being praised for our strengths, so it's important to do this just as much as we consider our weaknesses. Actually, more.

Even more than you cut yourself down, I encourage you to build yourself up. Think often about what makes you special. This is one of the most important lessons I've learned as my career progresses. I distinctly remember my first year as a pro. I was so blown away by how good my teammates were at certain areas of the game. On Sky Blue FC alone we had Natasha Kai, who's fast as lightning and incredibly dynamic; Christie Rampone, who's impossible to beat 1v1; Heather O'Reilly, who relentlessly runs at the other team and gets off shots and crosses.

As a competitive person, I immediately felt bad about myself because there was no way I could be as good as those players in those areas. But soon I realized that competition at the highest level is in a different form. The new competition I needed to engage in was to realize what makes me special and to be the absolute best at that as I could be. This is one of the most valuable lessons soccer can teach us. The beauty of a team is that you're on the team for what you already bring. Success comes from bringing that consistently.

My distribution is what makes me special. At my best, I can control the rhythm of the game and set my teammates up to do what they do best. I work to be a well-rounded player, but at the end of the day we all find the greatest joy and success if we can put our energy towards our strengths. I'm still very sensitive about my weaknesses as a player, because I care deeply about what I do. But I've established a new mental framework: if I'm going to fully dedicate myself to improving it, I will give a weakness thought and attention. If I don't plan to do that, I try to shift my focus away from that area.

I'm currently in FC Kansas City preseason and can think of an entire list of areas I'd like to be better at during this upcoming season. But realistically, I have the mental energy to focus to improve maybe two to three. So in addition to trying to be my absolute best at my strengths, I want to process the ball quicker, cover more ground, and tackle harder. Anything else that I could be better at--which are a lot of things--I'll give my best effort to in the moment but not dedicate mental energy to worrying about. I encourage you to do the same. If you don't have the energy to actively change it, don't think about it.

Know what makes you special. Know the areas that may hold you back from using those special qualities. Find ways to minimize the weaknesses without shifting your focus away from your best you. That's the mission I'm on and I hope you'll join me!


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